Source Within

We Will Get Through This - SAM's perspective on the election of Trump

"...the outcome is that over time, we are going to have a higher consciousness planet as a result of this choice.  Over time, due to experiencing the volatility of this contrast learning, the lesson of love, peace, and tolerance will be learned." - SAM


I have a feeling of great peace overflowing in me and have since about 2 am when SAM started deeply downloading this transmission of their perspective on Trump winning the presidency.  I'm going to channel SAM 'full channel' with their personality fully in place in the hopes that you will be able to feel the calmness and Truth of their words as well.  -Maureen

From SAM (collective consciousness named Securely Attached to Mankind because they are committed to helping us with our journey in this game of life):

Dear ones, we write this today in the hopes of calming down many of you who have already reached out to Maureen & Guides in fear and worry over the fact that Donald Trump is the president-elect after yesterday's election.  If you listen back to our radio shows even in the Spring (, we were always saying that Donald Trump was here as an opportunity for the planet to get a consciousness lesson.  Trump has been the magnet to pull out of hiding all of the lower consciousness aspects of people that need shifting in order for the consciousness to change for the planet to be one of more love and less hate.  Donald Trump is a mirror.  He is the mirror of the anger, dissatisfaction with the political system and government in and of itself.  He is a mirror of the underlying hatred, bigotry, racism, sexism and misogyny that takes place on a daily basis, all around the world, not just in the USA.  As Donald Trump began to speak out against minority groups, immigrants, LGBTQ rights, pro-choice rights, and the likes of basically every human who is not white and like him, he truly was speaking for the lower consciousness aspects present in the world.  Not an aspect of the world that anyone would like to admit exists, but an aspect of the world that DOES exist, never the less.  Thus as a result, instead of his comments being shot down and him being held accountable for the hatred he spoke, instead, he gained followers.  The problem is not with Donald Trump himself.  The problem is with the amount of people who think like Donald Trump, and believe that this narcissist, power-hungry man, once in power, will actually care about their woes enough to create the change that so many people are deeply and desperately seeking.

We also were clear in our radio show that this whole election was a 'test'.  Bernie Sanders was one that was offering up pathways towards great change.  He didn't win the Democratic nomination.  Right from the beginning, Donald Trump was ruffling many Republican feathers within his own ranks, but the group did not step up and denounce him as a representative of their views.  Instead, most endorsed him (less so after he continued to open up his mouth and spew hatred).  Both in Bernie Sanders' more radical view of change as well as Trump's magnetic nature of pulling out the lower consciousness thoughts of the people, many chose to turn a blind eye.  What we mean by this, is that in this time frame, before Trump was even the nominee elect for the Republican party, and before Hillary Clinton was the nominee elect for the Democratic party, THIS was when the lesson and mirroring could have been enough for deep change. Right then. Just the IDEA that the best two candidates that the USA could offer at that time would be Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, was a test in consciousness, in and of itself.  At that moment, with no further contrast, the USA people could have 'seen the writing on the wall' of what this election could become, and have chosen other candidates.  But the world (and USA in this case, which we see as the microcosm mirror of the macrocosm) was not ready to make this shift with so little contrast.  The people needed more contrast 'to learn the lesson'.  And thus, instead of Bernie Sanders, Hillary Rodham Clinton was elected to run for president for the Democrats.  And instead of ANY other Republican choice (any choice would have been better), Donald Trump was elected to represent the Republicans.

This is where the game got more interesting.  As the election ensued, it became more clear that neither party was ideal.  We in our radio show started getting across the message that if truly the choice was between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, that the lesser of the two evils was Hillary Clinton.  This message, due to the fact that Donald Trump will not keep any of his promises because he has been proven again and again to be a compulsive liar who will say whatever anyone wants to hear. (which by the way is the trait of a very compelling narcissist).  More contrast began, and the healing of the planet began. More people began to speak up about how awful this choice was, but the focus was even more on how dangerous it would be if Trump were to be elected.  More people were speaking out against Trump's mirror of racism/bigotry/sexism/misogyny.  Trump made it very easy for people to prove their point.  The more he opened his mouth, the more hatred and intolerance for others came out.  Again, 'the lesson' could have been learned there.  That is the mirror - knowing there are so many supporters of Trump - that the true issue is that too many people are feeling it is okay for people to think this way about other fellow human beings.  Trump rallies showed the hatred spreading, with Trump even inciting violence and some 'followers' complying.  All of the mirrors of 'the lesson' have been present the whole time.

So what does it mean that Trump was chosen as president-elect? It means that unfortunately, USA as the microcosm mirror for the planet, has shown that as a planetary consciousness, we need more contrast experiences in which to learn.  To play this game of life, you have two ways to experience everything that happens to you. You can live through a lens of suffering and 'hard path', or you can live through an easier path of joy and positive learning.  Meaning, you may learn the same lesson (ex. to love one another), but you learn by either experiencing the fallout of not loving one another, or you learn the lesson by the very act of loving one another.  This choice made 'by the people' overwhelmingly last night, is showing that at this particular stage in the game of the collective consciousness of the planet, you are not ready to learn by the easy path of love and joy.  You still need the contrast.

And contrast you will have.  Donald Trump will behave at first.  As pompous as he is, this new brand of power has gone to his head and even in his own mind, he will 'try to do right by his country'.  However, this will not last, because of the true nature of his personality. At his core, he is disconnected from his own Essence. He is not in power as the president-elect to 'serve his country'. He is in power to gain more power, and to acquire another notch on his belt.  It is not about 'the people', it is about him.  So yes dear ones, for all of you who are upset and deeply grieving about the fact that 'the people have spoken' and the USA overwhelmingly wants Trump as the representative of who they are, you have much to grieve.  For you, those of you who could see clearly how dangerous Trump could be, not only for USA but for relations around the world, are a person that we would call 'a seeker'.  You are someone who is more able to see the bigger picture, to look at all elements of the game at the same time (rather than voting for someone ignoring all of their other qualities because you want to get rid of Obamacare or avoid stricter gun laws, as an example).  You seekers KNOW that this will mean more contrast for the world.  And you don't want any more contrast, because as a seeker, you have already chosen that you would much rather play this game from the positive side of the coin (through joy and 'easy path').

However, though you have many people who are also seekers and share this consciousness of love rather than hate, unity rather than division, and inclusion rather than exclusion, it is not enough.  Because the magnitude of the lower consciousness aspects that are within all of us (including you), are still too present.  So many people voted for Trump, because they resonated with him, as disturbing as that is.  And if you are reading this and you did put in a vote for Trump, we are not saying you are a bad person.  What we are saying however, is that you did not hold the consciousness as of yet to see the bigger picture and that no matter what Trump is telling you at this time, he will not keep his promise, because quite frankly, he is incapable of it.  Read up on the concept of narcissism itself,if you doubt us. A narcissist cares about no one but himself. Trump will serve as president for his gain. No one else's.  And due to your own fears and pain and anger, the idea of keeping the status quo felt worse to you, than 'change'.  Even volatile change.  And as a result, you felt Trump was the better choice.

There is Hope.

HOWEVER, and it is a big however....even though this choice has been made 'by the people', there is hope. Lots of hope.  The lesson all along has been about aiming the planet towards a greater level of peace, love, and tolerance.  You will reach this greater level, but you will have to go down before you come up and out of it.  By choosing Trump as your leader, and his personality, you have chosen a more hard path and volatile pathway to discover that in the end, the only thing that is truly going to save you from your anger and pain, is love. Not more hate. Not kicking immigrants out of the country. Not punishing women for pro choice.  Not ending same sex rights.  You will realize that the more you try to divide in order to conquer your pain, the only thing that will be victorious is more hatred. And thus, you will learn the lesson.  It may not be pretty, and there may have to be some really uncomfortable moments for both the country of USA and the world, before everyone raises in consciousness enough to say 'no more'.  In fact, it may takes years of this contrast to figure it out.  But you will figure it out. All of you.  Even those of you who voted for Trump in this election.

And thus, there IS hope.  Whether you choose easy path or hard path, the outcome is that over time, we are going to have a higher consciousness planet as a result of this choice.  Over time, due to experiencing the volatility of this contrast learning, the lesson of love, peace, and tolerance will be learned.  So though you do have the right to grieve today - for those who already could see that the path of Donald Trump will lead to more contrast, not more love - be assured that as he moves into the presidency with a chip on his shoulder that he is the king of the world, he will sooner or later fall.  And he will fall because of you.  Just as so many of you put him into office, even more of you will ensure he does not stay in office.  The collective consciousness of love will win out in the end.

So what does that mean, in the meantime?  NOW WHAT???

Breathe.  Getting angry at those who voted for Trump is not going to solve anything here.  They voted for him because they have lost their job and believe Trump when he says he will get more jobs coming back into the USA.  They voted for him because they live in so much fear in their daily lives that they need to carry a gun to the grocery store, and fear more regulations being put on guns and their right to bear arms.  Things may have to get worse before they get better, as you have already been seeing for months. The Black Lives Matter movement is a perfect example of something that shouldn't even be happening in 2016 - black individuals getting shot by white police officers for doing nothing to invoke them. This is a sign of the times to come.  More contrast. More extremes.  More moments of "Is this for real???  How can people not be seeing this??"  And by these moments, these moments of darkness will promote change.  More of you will bond together in local movements such as the 'Black Lives Matter' movement. More of you will connect together in efforts to squeeze out this lower consciousness lens on the world.  And you will win.  It will take time, but you will win.

Try not to be overwhelmed at it all this morning.  In the bigger picture, Trump winning yesterday has assured that this consciousness shift will happen. With free will, it's still a matter of time as to 'how much contrast' you as USA citizens, and us as world citizens will need to explore and experience before we reach our 'enough' point. (Clearly the hint of this much contrast back at the beginning of election time wasn't enough for the shift.)  However we will reach that boiling over point.  And yes, it will be uncomfortable.  All of us in the world, not just the USA, need to sit in the knowing today that hatred, bigotry, fear-mongering and scapegoating won out.  But it is only a matter of time before even the Trump voters see that Trump has not kept his word, he IS volatile in office, and that something must be done.

So breathe.  The world will not end.  It will get a bit more real, the hatred that was more insidiously covered is now out in the open as Trump won by an overwhelming majority of people who felt it was okay to turn a blind eye to all of his flaws, still citing him as 'better than Hillary'.  So there is much more to learn.  But learn it you will.  Because this is the game.  What you need to learn as a person, and as a planet, is inherent.  What differs, by free will, is HOW you learn it - either through 'hard path' contrast experience, or 'easy path'.  Though a harder path has been chosen, those of you who can see the Truth now can still choose easy path.  You can choose to stay connected to your own Essence connection and inner  guidance system enough that you know what to do as these contrasts ensue.  That you too, will not be pulled down to the lower consciousness level that needs to rid itself in this world before we can experience a higher consciousness living grid.  So truly, each and every one of you have the opportunity here to 'connect more'.  To connect more with others, to connect more within.  Trump as the contrast, can force those who are awake to connect more with Source itself, which is the very frequency and nature that you will need to overcome his mirroring of hatred and intolerance long term.  So think of this as needing to have lost your house, your job, your life savings, in order to learn that you need to be a better money manager.  You perhaps didn't need to have that much contrast, but the core lesson was still learned and the outcome of being a better money manager in the future, assured.

So, do you trust your own inner Essence connection? Do you trust that you will be grounded enough to have the right response, when more of this contrast hits?  Or do you fear you will fall prey to lower consciousness responses yourself? THIS is what you should be thinking about today dear ones. The stage has been set. It has been chosen for USA and the world that things will become more volatile to learn the lesson.  What state of mind do you want to be in when the volatility comes?  Do you want to be grounded and anchored in the Truth lens that is provided by your own Essence connection? Or do you want to get unhinged by the fear and anger and act out in lower consciousness in response?  Hate begets hate.  Love begets love.

THAT is what the focus needs to be - now what?  What do I, as a being who is a seeker, need to do now to ensure that I am strapped in for the ride?  How do I make sure that I raise my consciousness as a result of this opportunity for learning, rather than lower it???

As always, questions are welcome.  We will try to answer them as best as we can.

Be strong America. No matter how many people voted Trump in, we assure you that more than that will end up voting him out...whether it be in months to come or years to come, his reign will not last forever. Nor will his lens of the world.  So choose wisely until then what YOUR response is to his antics, stay within your own Source connection, and all will be well as the planet moves towards more tolerance, peace, and love.


Securely Attached to Mankind

Written by Maureen Becker — November 09, 2016

Fat Chicks Can Float Too

I was gifted with a 'float' ( - great place, awesome staff) for my 45 birthday.  I have avoided the idea of going for a float even though I have heard how much it can open the mind, due to my fear of claustrophobia.  But when I was pushed to go by receiving this gift, I realized that this could be a great way of moving past my comfort zone, as a way truly of celebrating my birthday.  Go big or go home, right?  So today, as the beginning of a weekend of pushing myself past my comfort zone, I went.

I was a little worried about how I would feel, being 'one' with the water and supposedly not being able to feel where my body ends and the water begins.  Would I want that alteration of consciousness? I have alterations in consciousness all the time by channelling SAM, but I knew this would be a different experience. I was game for trying.

What I found instead of 'being one with the water' was an awesome surprise of learning to 'be one with myself as the fat chick'.  I was expecting to lose my feeling of my heavy body, and then be upset when I came out of the tank to feel all the weight of my excess fat back on.  I had this sensation when I was pregnant and doing water aerobics, my baby belly being buoyed by the water and at the end of this hour, walked out of the water and feeling the weight of my belly return. It was a depressing feeling, no matter how much gravity had to do with it. That feeling and memory has stuck with me for 17 years.

However, my float experience didn't disconnect me from my body enough to feel the weight change.  What happened instead is I heard my heart beat so clearly (thank you, ear plugs) and my breath, and I became one with my body, every fat inch of it.  I realized as I floated, how stupid it was to be caught up in fearing 'the heavy feeling' even if it was what was to occur when I came out of the deprivation tank. My body was a miracle, just in its very nature, regardless of its size. This was the body I have chosen to create, is it not? Every pound of flesh that has been gained has been gained by my choices.  It was my choice to do this 'social experiment' of gaining my weight, really delving into the depths of my addictions to sugar/food and seeing where it took me.  I CHOSE my body.  So why am I not wanting to feel myself in it?

Not sure what happened in that deprivation tank of 90 minutes but I came out loving myself.  And a step closer to loving my fat self too.  Not only did I as the fat chick float just like everyone else (the miracles of tonnes of epsom salts, don't ya love chemistry) but I became grateful for being alive by this experience, rather than focusing on my physical weight.

Social experiment or not, today reminded me that focusing on my body as something that is approved or unapproved of by society, is a grand distraction. I need to remind myself of my epiphany of health.  After a few years of my experience with the weight gain, exploring the different ways I was treated by both men and women, I felt I had learned all that I had needed to learn. "Okay, time to get the fat suit off, I've learned that it's about health and not what weight you are anyway, okay, let's get the weight off now."  One of the lessons may very well be health, and of course I knew there were lessons in self-love, but today I realized that I have not truly reached the goal of self love for my body. I may love my body, but I don't love my 'fat body'.  If I had, I wouldn't be regretting the potential 'heaviness' feeling I would feel after floating for 1 1/2 hours, would I?  I have been tolerating my body, in my efforts to 'get the lesson'. But I have not loved my fat body, just in its very nature for allowing me to be alive playing this game of life, and in acknowledgement of what I have chosen to weigh in this current time frame.

So I suppose this starts now.  New territory for me.  I had joined Weight Watchers a few months ago and had lost 10 pounds and all of a sudden found myself at a standstill.  I realize now, after feeling that 'oneness with my fat chick' that it's because the focus is still about losing weight. The focus has not been about loving myself, or getting healthier, but losing weight because of the societal belief that I am not enough the way I am. It's okay to have gained this weight to learn your lesson that you don't feel as healthy, but to stay this way?  Well that surely can't be the lesson!!  Can it???

Weight Watchers' motto is even 'beyond the scale', but they are not quite there.  The focus is still walking into that room and getting weighed, so no matter how much they focus on other things (and they are WAY better than a decade ago about having a more balanced approach), the subliminal message still is that you are only succeeding if that scale needle is going to go down as you continue to show up there week to week. So is it really beyond the scale?

I hit my plateau of weight loss because I went in to Weight Watchers as an attempt at gaining health, good food recipes, but lost my focus.  After I started losing weight and getting rewarded and commended for losing 1 or 2 pounds per week, I let my consciousness shift to become about the weight loss again.  Not the health, not the quality of life, but about making sure I would come back next week with another 'goal' reached (whatever that was).  The WW Leaders were doing speeches about how our goals need to be more than just about the weight loss per week, but about how we feel, the baby steps of exercise, but I wasn't buying it.  And why not?  Because everyone sitting in those chairs (95% women) were needing to hear that speech because they were upset that they had only lost .8 lbs that week even though they had 'done everything right'.  Too much of the focus was still to pep the women up about looking past the weight loss itself (which is great that they are teaching this now), but the collective itself, were still beaconing off "I am not worthy because I didn't lose my 1-2 pounds this week."  Somewhere, this unconscious collective thought process got back in under my skin, even though i didn't think it was. And as as result?  I've rebelled, not wanting to sit among the women in that collective, feeling bad about themselves because they had hoped for a 2 pound loss, but the scale said otherwise. I don't want this to be about the weight I lose, or the magic number that is 'my goal'.  No matter what is being said by the leaders, the actual weighing and recording it and getting stickers for every 5 pound loss belies all else that is being said.  I let myself get soaked back into the lie. (damn it)

How did I kid myself into thinking that this was going to help me achieve my self-love in an extremely overweight body as well as health?  I used the wrong resource in attempts to learn the lesson. And as a result, couldn't go farther than a few pounds before my body/mind rebelled.

During the float, I wasn't thinking about any of this.  I was enjoying the feeling of being a mermaid, as I felt my hair flow in the water back and forth like seaweed, as I moved my body ever so slightly to see if I could feel the difference between my skin temperature and the water temperature.  My float was not about attempting to achieve an out-of -body experience. Ironically, my float gave me the in-of-body experience that I have been avoiding since I was fat.  SAM says I 'grounded into my body' today.  For the first time since being 60-100 pounds overweight.

So it seems my explorations with being fat are NOT over.  If this is the first time I've really grounded into my body since gaining all of this weight, then I have really not loved 'the fat chick'.  Toleration is a far cry from loving oneself.  So okay then, it appears that exploring the world from the perspective of this heavy-weight body is yet to be done.  I guess I will be experiencing the plane ride to California this month wishing my hips were smaller because the width of the seat is too small.  I suppose walking around all day at Disney in an overweight body is going to be more cumbersome than if I had lost the 20 pounds i had hoped to lose by the time my trip rolled around.  Seems my Essence has a different plan.  My inability to love myself as fat, means I will be 'fat' for longer.  I will have to prepare for Disney family pictures with my double chin.  I have clearly NOT gotten the lesson.  I was only willing to love myself if I would lose the weight, with the lesson having been 'health'.  I really didn't get it.

Here's to learning the true lesson, the depth about self-love, even when others see you as unlovable and unacceptable due to your size. What a grand journey to have to find a true love for yourself anyway, in spite of the brainwashing in society. I thought I was there months ago, in understanding, but my float today showed me clearly I am not.  I am yet still a work-in-progress on this theme.

I will definitely be getting my bigger, cellulite booty back in that float tank though.  If this step towards appreciation for my fat body could come out of 90 minutes, what could come out of a bi-monthly float?  This gal is about to find out.

Happy floating peeps, I highly recommend it.  And happy loving yourselves too. I hope that any and all that are reading this are truly happy with their bodies and can truly say they love themselves in their bodies, regardless of their flaws.  I look forward to that divine experience of self-acceptance myself.

Not.  There.  Yet.

to be continued....


Written by Maureen Becker — November 04, 2016

Cooper's Legacy Begins...Can We Keep It Going?

The senselessness of the death of Cooper Nemeth has affected many, as can be seen by the posts being shared on social media.  The Nemeth family has one request, and it is a good one - that as the media releases the name and information of who is accountable for Cooper's death, to NOT send around the posts and pictures of this man.  He does not deserve the attention, even negative attention.  What DOES deserve the attention here is how to see any positive outcomes out of such a tragedy and loss.

Nothing can be done to bring Cooper back.  Yes, justice can be served by incarcerating his murderer.  But there needs to be more of a consciousness shift from this senseless act than just a man being held accountable, doesn't there?

One shift that has been a beautiful step towards inclusion of communities is that the Bear Clan Patrol came out as part of the massive search party for Cooper since his disappearance February 14.  This indigenous 'Neighbourhood Watch' group of North End streets, led by Larry Morrissette and James Favel, had every right to turn their back. How many years has the indigenous community been SCREAMING in order to get attention that they have so many missing children/teens that the media is not covering, and that no one is helping to locate?  And yet, they stepped up to help in the search for Cooper.  This model of grace is but one of the positive messages that can be taken from this week's events.

On Feb 22, 2016, a drum circle and smudging ceremony was held to honour Cooper and to support the grieving family, friends, and community.  Facilitating a smudge ceremony for a non-indigenous family in itself is an extremely honoring gesture.  In Manitoba, we have been trying to find ways to integrate the communities of indigenous and non-indigenous communities for years, especially since the spurning Maclean's article (Jan 22, 2015) that deemed us the most racist city in Canada.  Even holding summits and having a website to discuss ways to improve our attitudes and lessen racism, have not been as effective a measure as Bear Clan Patrol's actions this week.  When real life presented an opportunity to walk the walk of the acceptance of all races in Manitoba, Bear Clan Patrol moved towards healing the discord between communities.  And those actions were taken by representatives of a community that should be the most angry with the amount of coverage Cooper's disappearance has received, in comparison to the coverage missing indigenous children/teens have received in the past or present.

There were many that searched for Cooper - yes, he was still in high school, had strong ties with a hockey team, etc.  However, if we are honest with ourselves, painting ourselves with the broad strokes as representatives of the 'non-indigenous' communities, can we say we have put in as much effort and focus as a public people to support our neighbouring indigenous communities in their searches?  Why not?  If it is a case that the media does not cover the indigenous community disappearances with the same fervor, this is still no excuse.  Now with social media at our fingertips, all it takes is a Facebook post from an indigenous member to shed light on another disappearance.  The next time this happens, will we band together, and put our time and efforts into finding their children with the same expansiveness as the search that has just happened for Cooper over this week?

Bear Clan Patrol has given us the template of what to do the next time a tragedy of a missing child occurs, regardless of race - to not focus on the past hurts, but to focus on what is the right thing to do.  I think the least we can do for all of the missing children/teens out there who have had their lives taken from them too soon, is to give as much effort as was shown for Cooper.  I'm sure Cooper would be overwhelmed and touched, as his family is, with the outpouring of support and love that has been shown over this past week.

If out of this tragedy, the indigenous and non-indigenous communities could begin to work together and destroy the walls of 'they' versus 'us', there would be a dim yet positive layer to this awful situation.  We owe it to Cooper.  We owe it to every missing child/teen, no matter their race, religion, or creed.

Thank you Larry Morrissette and James Favel, for taking the first step in such a tangible way to heal the rift between indigenous and non-indigenous communities in Manitoba.  You have given us a standard to hold ourselves to.  Now it's up to us, to DO it, when it is our turn to walk the walk and talk the talk.

And thank you to the Nemeth family, who in the depth of their grief, were still able to acknowledge the significance of communities working together and to be grateful for its effect.

Both representatives for the 'indigenous' and 'non-indigenous' in this case, have reached out and have acknowledged each other with grace and gratitude.  It is a step forward for all of us in Manitoba.

Rest in peace Cooper.  Already, your disappearance and death has brought more Light and unity into the world, and at the very least, to Manitoba.



Maureen Becker

copyright Source Within 2016.  All Rights Reserved.


Written by Maureen Becker — February 22, 2016

Finding the 'True Me'/Detaching From External Mirrors

I haven't written a blog for a long time.  I decided rather than writing a blog because I 'should' (timing wise), that I would only write a blog when I was 'inspired'.  Consider me inspired today.


The last time I wrote a blog, it was about my stubborn need to gain a lot of weight in order to gain a respect for my body.  I thought I had learned all 'my lessons' when it came to my weight gain.  However, my lessons were far from over.  

It's a funny thing to all of a sudden be able to play out your life with a different lens - almost like you get to wear a mask or costume that is different than who you really are, and then play out your life again and see how people treat you NOW.  You are the same on the inside, but not on the outside.  How much does this change your experience?Tremendously!  And though it has been really interesting to experience the world reacting to 'the bigger me' in a different way - whether it be family, friends, colleagues in the spiritual world, clients, or MEN - yes, I happen to be single as of this moment - the 'lesson' that has come forth time and time again is LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITiONALLY.

Not only has my learning been about respecting my body and what I put in it, but it's also been to realize that if you rely on any outside sources to mirror to you whether you are deemed acceptable or not, you are bound for low self-esteem to never have its chance to be cured.  Relying on the 'external mirror' as SAM calls it, keeps you constantly at the mercy of others.  And to be at the mercy of others for who you are, is a ridiculous way to live your life.  It's a known fact - not everyone is going to like you.  Not everyone is going to understand you.  In fact, some people may hate you, whether they are justified to have those feelings or not.  The one person who will never fail you, who is always there for you, who should always be accepting of you, is YOU.  We all know this in theory, right????

AND YET, we live in a society where we are constantly programmed to put more energy and attention towards what others think of us, than what we think of ourselves.  We present ourselves based on how we believe we SHOULD be presenting ourselves.  After all, if there are so many opinions about how a person should look or behave throughout society, the masses must be right, correct?


The only person who can really know who you are, is you.  Do you feel you have an intimate enough relationship with yourself to know who you really are, without your image being influenced by others?  Being single with this weight gain has probably been the best resource I have had with which to learn my lessons on detaching myself from the external mirror.  I have discovered that there are some men who really love bigger/overweight/curvy/pick your word women.  In fact, they CHOOSE those women over fit women.  Who knew??!!

And of course, there are other men who prefer women who are fit/slim/model-like/pick your word.  Well, when you are online dating, all men have access to you and your pictures - the men who think you are disgusting, lazy and fat, and the men who are attracted to you and treating you like a goddess.  I have had a few men in the last couple of years who I went on a few dates with, break up with me because I wasn't their 'body type'.  This I expected.  What I did not expect, was to have the opposite experience.  I was lucky enough to date a man for a few months who was absolutely in love with my overweight, BBW body.  He worshipped my body, every last flabby inch of it.  He called me a goddess.  All of the mind programming I had growing up about what was attractive and acceptable, was blown away by this one simple expression of truth by this man.  In fact, he admitted he would be less attracted to me if I LOST weight.  Are you kidding me?  Now that's a new one.

And that was the point.  In that moment, the epiphany hit - if I rely on what others think about my body in order to feel good about myself (men being the external mirror in this case), I'll never be happy.  I could feel safe as 'the goddess' only to lose some weight by choosing healthier foods and then become 'too thin' for my suitor's liking.  I could lose the weight now, attract a man who likes 'curvy but not fat' girls, only to have him be less attracted when over a year I gain a few of the pounds back.  I never thought that I was seeking out a healing agent for my self-esteem through the acceptance of others, but I was. Sure, I know all of the talk - "Love yourself!  Embrace your inner goddess!  Be you!  Who cares what others think about you!"  I knew that this was the way to an unshakable self-esteem.  When I was curvy but thinner, I thought I had unshakable self-esteem and that I had built it within myself.

I was kidding myself.  I had found self-esteem because I was more accepted by others when I was thinner.  Which meant, my self-esteem was riding on other people's opinions as the external mirror all along.  When I gained all the weight, and had different reactions from everyone, I began to realize how embarrassed I felt to be at this higher weight.  Why would SAM suggest that being this weight could teach me so much?  'Being fat' was damaging my self-esteem wasn't it?  Then the epiphany.  What self-esteem?  My self-esteem had been built on sand.  Sand that could be built up or blown away easily in the wind based on who was judging me in the moment.

So NOW I see why SAM said it could teach me so much.  Treating my body with more respect and dealing with my sugar addiction wasn't the whole battle, it is only a slice of the huge pie.  I now, as this 'fatter, less acceptable being', have the opportunity to discover myself as I am now, and love myself, regardless of what others think of me.  NOW I can actually learn what it means to not care about what others think.  To explore fully in reality that 'you will never please everyone all of the time', was an important path for me to walk these last few years, especially while being single.  To realize that for some men, if I got to a healthier weight, they would find me unattractive, was MIND BLOWING, considering what societal mirroring teaches us.

So if I lose the external mirror, I am left with me, myself and I.  Me, myself and I are a work in progress. Sometimes I look at my overweight body and see its beauty and curves. Other days I see it and loathe that I am not my skinnier self.  I have discovered that I am neither one of those images in my mind.  The 'true me', the weight that I would easily be able to keep stable because my lifestyle changes would be consistent, is yet to be born.  I don't know what weight I am going to end up being.  I know it is less than 285 lbs and I have already lost 10 pounds simply by avoiding wheat.  I know that as I continue to make other diet/food allergy changes (sugar replacements, gluten replacements, no corn, no dairy) that more weight will fall off. I need to make these changes for my health, not vanity. But I am not rushing it.  The mistake I made last time was becoming paranoid about food - 'good food' and 'bad food'.  No 'bad food' came near my mouth for two years.  This time, I need to choose to go gluten-free because I know for me, it helps me be more clear-headed and less tired.  I need to make the changes to improve my inner health, not for attempts at outer acceptance.

The journey is taking way longer for me to get there than I thought.  I resist going fully gluten/sugar/corn/dairy-free 24/7, 365 days a year because it still makes life difficult when I am cooking family meals, eating with others, and when I am dating.  Ever try going on a first date with someone who watches you in horror as you order your 'gluten-free, sugar-free, corn-free, dairy-free food?

When Harry Met Sally - her order right before the 'fake orgasm' scene

Waitress: Hi, what can I get ya?
Harry: I'll have a number three.
Sally: I'd like the chef salad please with the oil and vinegar
on the side and the apple pie a la mode.
Waitress: Chef and apple a la mode.
Sally: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the
ice cream on top I want it on the side and I'd like strawberry instead
of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice cream just whipped cream
but only if it's real if it's out of a can then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally: No, just the pie, but then not heated.
Waitress: Uh huh.

 I still am transmuting all of the rigid beliefs I have about 'being healthy' from my days when I was 145 lbs.  I know my 'true me' isn't that girl either.

And the biggest realization?  That's okay.  It's okay that I am still learning lessons to do with my weight - my weight has been my Achilles heel since my teens.  It's okay that I am still not willing to change my diet to honor all of my food allergies/intolerances 24/7, 365 days.  Every day that I substitute a food I can tolerate that is healthy, and let go of the offending food that made my body tired, itchy, blotchy, bloaty...I am one step closer to success.  It's okay that I am a practitioner who helps other deal with their issues, and yet I still struggle with 'an issue' so much myself.  It's okay, because I am human.  And in this human game, we are here to learn.  And learn I am doing.  I will learn what my true food and exercise lifestyle is, learn how to live it every day without feeling like I am on a 'diet' or giving up anything, and slowly but surely, I will discover the True Me.  One step at a time.  Here's to the journey, and all the negative beliefs that will be left behind.

Until next time,



copyright Source Within 2016.  All Rights Reserved.

Written by Maureen Becker — January 13, 2016

Bullying - Right Down To The Chickens...

blog-0727619001432011541.jpg"Every time you shrug and say, "Oh that's a shame" and move on with your lives, you have just driven by the pimp beating the prostitute on the sidewalk for not providing him with enough quality merchandise..." - SAM



I don't consider myself overly political when it comes to social politics - save the whales, save the environment....I find myself in the category of being interested in those articles, wanting to improve (ex. recycle more), but I am far from a 'tree hugger' (which is yet another stereotype of being spiritual/new age/ or a channel).


Enter John Oliver. I love this dude. He is political, but he uses humor to get across his messages. As I watch his show (and subscribe to his youtube channel) I have become much more aware of the injustices that he has no fear in shining a light on. You go for it, John Oliver!!!


His latest one, on chicken farmers, got me thinking - do people who are trying to be 'a good person' ever wonder what the right thing to do is when you get sent a video like this? We live in Canada, this is a USA show, but much of what he talks about affects us too. So how can one be political and earth conscious without being considered some cuckoo who is constantly griping about conspiracy theories?


I decided I would ask SAM what exactly they thought about what we humans should be doing in regards to videos or articles that show up in social media. Do we share them? Ignore them? Get on the bandwagon? What is in balance?


This particular John Oliver video is about the whole chicken farming industry. It's 16 minutes so if you're not interested in watching, here is a really brief recap:


The farmers who raise the chickens in the most inhumane environment actually are not making money - they are below the poverty line due to the chicken companies regulating them, and the government not regulating the chicken companies. It's basically, according to SAM, a situation of bullying all around. The chickens are bullied by being put in these huge chicken houses, without sunlight or space to move. They are given antibiotics and growth hormones so when the chicken is ready to land on our dinner plate, it will be twice the size of a free range chicken. Farmers who speak out against the treatment and regulations of the chickens are then bullied by the chicken companies who buy their chickens - they are paid less if they complain, threatened, even shut down. The bigger your mouth and the more you try to stand up for what's right, the more chance you become bankrupt. So the farmers stay quiet, and stay abused by the system.


So who can save the day here? This is where the government is supposed to step in to make better regulations to protect the farmers and the chickens from the bullying. But instead, there is bullying within the political system, and so these 'regulations' never get passed. Bullying, bullying, bullying, it's all about power then, and not about what is truly for anyone's highest good.


So here is what SAM says in their own words:


We like the fact that we can take real life events and put our spin or perspective on them to show you a different lens with which to view the world. No, we don't think that the solution is for everyone to get on their soapbox, or chain themselves to the tree that is about to be removed. However, the power paradigm is completely out of balance. As a person who hears about these type of political situations (and there are many, chickens is but a simple example), you believe you have no power - after all, you know you're not going to chain yourself to a chicken house in efforts to save the chickens, nor are you going to 'save the farmers' by speaking out when you hear the farmers are getting threatened. So instead, human instinct is to have a moment of empathy, "Oh, isn't that awful!", maybe even send around the article or video, and then let it go. And forget that you, the consumer, have the most power of all, because the chicken companies are in business because of you.


Now in John Oliver's stance, he claimed near the end of his video that no one was going to stop eating chicken because everyone loved it. Instead, he wanted the pressure to be put on the new regulations bill that will be passed or not passed in the next month. Yet again, the bullying will interfere with 'doing the right thing' - for those in power will say yay or nay based on whether they have been threatened or feel safe enough to take a stand. So these individuals who hold the power as those who 'represent the people' aren't usually willing to be the sacrificial lamb. So then it has to go farther down the totem pole, and that comes back to you.


You the people, decide what happens to both the chickens and the farmers. Do you buy chicken brands that follow this type of practice? Or do you go the extra distance to a different store/shop that sells free range chickens or is supplied by local farmers?


Do you educate yourself about these situations so you actually know what you are buying, rather than just shrug as you quickly pick up your chicken at the most convenient supermarket?


It is a very powerless feeling to feel like you have no say in these bigger picture issues. And yet, the only reason you don't have say is because you choose to say nothing and do nothing. The power paradigm would switch to the companies having less power, and the government not being coerced into rejecting a bill amendment, if 'the people' were all buying chicken that had humane practices for both the animal in question and the farmers.


The paradigm is so unbalanced because you the people, do not feel like there is anything you can do. You, as humans, choose to take the lens of 'Well what can I do about it?".


Do you realize you do this in your personal life as well? You notice an injustice - something you have done/has been done to you in the past that you are unwilling to take accountability for. You instead choose to feel like a victim, and then get angrier that no one is saving you or standing up for you. Do you not see the irony, the bigger picture?


The consciousness of the planet still needs much work. The most work, in our mind, is in the place of self-accountability. There are many spiritual folks out there focusing on love, joy, peace.....yes yes, even the 'Kumbaya - All Is Well' stereotype. However there is a great need for folks to pay attention to what they do, what they say, and who and what they interact with. You each create your own experience, and in a sense, your own world.


Why are you agreeing to play the game in a world where chicken farmers are the prostitutes, the pimps are the companies/lack of government courage, and the chickens themselves are also pawns in this power imbalance? Every time you shrug and say "Oh that's a shame" and move on with your lives, you have just driven by the pimp beating the prostitute on the sidewalk for not providing him with enough quality merchandise - in this case, fat, diseased, hormone/steroid-filled chickens. If you passed someone on the road beating up a farmer, taking away his money, and threatening his life, would you drive by, or help? So why is this any different?


It is different because of what we call the 'ignorance is bliss' contract. Many of you humans have chosen to 'stay blind' to much of the power imbalances in the world today. This is the contract that you have made with your interaction on earth during this lifetime - the "It's not my problem...someone else will do something about it." If you see these issues with clarity, then accountability will be required on your parts to DO or SAY something, to make a change, and no one wants to be 'that person'. However, what if everyone was that person?


What if after reading this article and watching the John Oliver research on chickens, you actually shared this article and John Oliver's video?


What if more people educated themselves to what is really happening, rather than blindly picking products without any understanding of how those products got from production to your table?


You need to become accountable as humans, in order to play the game with your eyes open.


We're not asking you to hug a chicken, chain yourself to a chicken coop, or stage a revolt in a town meeting. We are asking you to OPEN YOUR EYES, and pay attention to your own individual accountability for who you are, and what/who you choose to interact with on a daily basis. Do you feed into this imbalanced power paradigm, or do you heal it?


Something to ponder, isn't it?


With grace,


SAM/Maureen & Guides


copyright Source Within 2015. All rights reserved.


Here is John Oliver's 16 minute video:



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Written by Maureen Becker — May 19, 2015

Gratitude For Life Through Weight Gain

blog-0822351001430842882.jpg"By losing energy, flexibility, and mobility, I now have gratitude for health."

Hello, my name is Maureen Becker and I am a sugar addict. As a result of my little experiment with SAM over the last 2 years (to eat whatever I crave and want, whenever I want), I have gained one hundred pounds over the last two years.

What kind of spirit guide would let their host gain one hundred pounds, only to be considered 'morbidly obese' by any doctor? A smart guide. A brilliant one, actually.

I have struggled with my addiction to sugar and carbs all of my life (I'm 43). I snuck oreo cookies even when it was discovered that I was allergic to chocolate as as child. This didn't stop me - those oreos would be in my mouth, and the proof would be imminent - a rash around my mouth after the fact. But to me, even getting caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar was worth it.

I'm not sure where my addiction to sugar started from, but I sure know what it feels like to be under its control. There have been times in my life where my whole world and focus was on what my diet was - was I cheating and eating sugar/carbs, or was I staying clean and avoiding all the foods that I know bother me? There's a long list: sugar, wheat/gluten, corn, dairy...those are the main ones. I tried natural diets avoiding those foods - the longest I lasted was two years. I dropped weight like crazy once I avoided all my trigger foods (allergy and intolerance for digestion) however it made my life miserable in going to restaurants, over to other people's house for dinner, etc. I was 'the one that couldn't eat anything'. As a result of this 'clean' diet, I was the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult - 145 pounds.

blogentry-2-0-98137700-1430842286_thumb. This is me, more than a decade ago, at 145 pounds

Finally, after losing some relationships, gaining pressure on my marriage because my husband (now my ex) was frustrated with my rigid diet (I became almost a hypochondriac regarding what a 'bad' food would do to me if I ate it), I started to cheat. I no longer tried to be so clean, ate some of my trigger foods, and as a result, started gaining weight. At this point, I kept it from getting out of control by doing exercise six days a week. I kept up this regime for many years.

blogentry-2-0-95209400-1430842304_thumb. Eating somewhat 'clean' with lots of exercise

I felt that I had slayed the dragon. I could eat restaurant food, go to people's houses for dinner, be able to go through a drive-thru, and yet still eat healthy most of the time. AHA! I have overridden the sugar beast! I have won the war!

Or so I thought.

Until a few years ago, I got into a car accident serious enough to give me whiplash in both my neck and lower back, which forced my six-days-a-week exercise to go down to non-existent exercise. I was still eating the same foods as I did when I did exercise, and in fact was craving more sugar-laden foods because I was no longer getting my 'endorphin high' from my daily exercise. The weight started to add on.

blogentry-2-0-34723400-1430842314_thumb. the beginning of 'eat whatever you want'

It was then that I realized that I hadn't resolved my addiction to sugar at all. I was keeping it at bay with exercise, but I hadn't slain any beast. It was still there, lurking. Waiting for its chance to strike.

SAM offered me a different perspective at that point, a fork in the road as it were. They explained that my Soul had a few lessons to learn about addiction, trying to keep my appearance 'socially acceptable', caring about what others think, finding my own inner beauty when my outer beauty was questionable in my/society's eyes, to name a few.

They suggested that I didn't panic about my weight gain, but 'give in to it'. They asked me to consider finally slaying the Sugar Beast, but through a completely unorthodox process. "Let yourself eat", they said. "Let yourself gain. Fully give in to your cravings. For the first time in your life, allow yourself to eat all of the chocolate and sugar and junk food you want. You need to find internal reasons to be healthy, not external reasons (such as what is considered beautiful or others' expectations of how you should look.). You need to find your own reasons for eating healthier. And ironically the only way you are going to learn this, is by becoming unhealthy until you CHOOSE HEALTH."

Gain weight by choice? Were they f*cking kidding? Why the hell would I do that?

However the more I was in angst over the fact that I couldn't exercise and my sugar cravings were increasing, the more I realized I was fighting a fight that felt fairly impossible to override at that time. I wanted to be free of my addiction to sugar. They ensured me that if I let myself get fat, found my 'inner beauty' and lost my power battle with food, sooner or later, I would find a new Essence-led weight that was best for my body type, and for my Soul's learning.

Unfortunately, it seems I am quite a stubborn Soul. I had to gain one hundred pounds, overeating for a few years, needing to really experience what it is like to live with that extra weight as a lifestyle, to understand the true lesson SAM was trying to get me to understand.

blogentry-2-0-19973100-1430842337_thumb. current weight 285 pounds!!!!!!!

All of a sudden, I was eating chocolate every day. Going through McDonald's drive-thru (I used to curse McDonald's drive thru years ago when I was clean. I had so much food dogma, everything was either 'bad or good'. There was no in between). Now I was one of the drive-thru mamas, grabbing a meal on the go while driving my children to their dance and gymnastic classes, rather than taking the time out to plan meals and use my crockpot. Crockpot? Damn the crockpot! I didn't NEED to do that anymore. I was free. I could eat whatever I wanted!!!

I began to realize how much power I had given to food, all of my life. I could not look at food as just fuel. It was way more powerful than that. It controlled me. It controlled my thoughts. I was obsessed, and an emotional overeater. However all of a sudden, this Spring, I noticed a change within my psyche. By eating the 'naughty' foods that I would never have allowed myself to eat before without guilt, they simply became food. They lost their power over me. The naughty foods were simply food that tasted really good, but were unhealthy as a daily choice.

I was learning firsthand the results of 'eating whatever I wanted'. Moving around in a body one hundred pounds heavier was not comfortable, IS not comfortable (I'm still 100 pounds heavier as I write this today). Bending down before was one graceful movement. Now, I hesitate to bend down, for fear I won't have the flexibility to actually reach the floor with my big gut in the way. (Note to self - achieving a healthy weight is not to please others or be 'sexy', it is so you can bend down and pick up things without being out of breath. Who knew?)

All of a sudden, going to the movies (one of my favorite things to do) was a self-esteem test, as I had to wiggle my ass out of the movie seat creatively rather than stand up without my butt and hips scratching against the side arms as I rose.


Yep, that's my big fat ass. If I had to climb out of a window right now in an emergency situation, this would be my predicament.


Sigh. Too many chocolate bars...

I have gained a lot of weight to gain the Truth - I never appreciated my health when I had it.

Not one bit. I took for granted that I could move around with ease, have flexibility, have strength, breathe well, do exercise without trouble, etc. Never for one minute did I consider any of those situations to be a gift, a choice, or something that could be taken away. It just was. Now that I am out of breath easily, now that my hips squeeze tightly into chairs, now that going for a 5-10 km walk (which was my norm) seems impossible, NOW I appreciate the concept of health. I always told myself that if I could eat anything I wanted, I would be happy. I needed to realize that this was a lie my Inner Sugar Addict was telling myself. Oh I was happy as I ate the chocolate bar. However I was not happy as I waddled, doing my errands feeling my inner thighs rub together. Yet I still ate. And ate. And justified every bite to myself - "I can eat whatever I want!!"

I have needed to eat those 'offending foods', the foods that I labelled as 'bad, untouchable' for two years in order to feel like I got my fill. I had given food so much power, that it took me that long to rebel before now a chocolate bar is just that - a choice. A choice that tastes good but makes me feel so fat and tired that it robs me of health and energy. I told myself I was free by being able to eat what I wanted. However that was another lie my Inner Sugar Addict wanted me to believe. I am now entrenched in fat, having to lose a lot of weight to get back to a healthy weight. That is quite a task, one that I am just beginning the journey of.

However, I will lose weight now with a completely different consciousness. This isn't about going on a diet. This isn't about aiming for a certain weight either. This is about choosing health. I now see what SAM meant. I was never choosing health before when I exercised. I exercised so that when I was single I would be attractive to men. I ate healthy food as a woman following society's rules. I wasn't eating healthily and exercising to achieve health and well-being. I was doing so to be socially acceptable, to please others, to stay 'sexy' - all of the reasons why many of us stay at a certain weight and drive to the gym first thing in the morning. It is expected of us, if we wish to stand in the grocery store line without feeling shame as we see the myriad of magazines with slogans of "Lose 10 pounds in 5 days!" and "Get great abs to spice up your sex life!!"

NOW, I want to discover a weight where I can be healthy and happy. To eat food with a neutral consciousness, to be healthy enough to move and exercise my body, and to have energy to enjoy life. No bad or good foods. Just food, that I choose, on a daily basis, based on my intuition of what my body needs. No rebellion. No starving myself or overeating. Just eating the right fuel for my body.

Every pound gained has been worth it. I look different, that is to be sure, but I also have a different perspective now. I have my internal reasons for wanting to be healthy for the first time in my life. By losing energy, flexibility and mobility, I now have gratitude for health.

You may think this was foolish, or unnecessary. However for me, now I can finally anchor into the feeling of what it means to 'treat my body as a vessel'. I could intellectually grasp that phrase before, but I could never live it. I now understand that if I don't take care of my vessel, it won't take care of me. And if I can eat whatever I want but I am so unhealthy that I can't live life to the fullest, how is that freedom? I choose health now, because living without it, is not an enjoyable life. Eating chocolate with freedom does not trump being healthy in my vessel.

I choose health because that is my right as a human being playing this game. And to live my life by choice without it? Well, that finally feels like a ridiculous concept. Sugar Addict be gone. You've got nothing on me now that I know and feel the Truth. The jig is up.

Time to pull out and be grateful for my crock-pot, and to start moving my body with joy, because I can. Time to be grateful for all of the health I have at this moment, and have gratitude for all of the health I can achieve by choosing it, every day.

Seems easy enough to me.

And so the journey of self-love begins.

Maureen ;)

copyright Source Within 2015. All rights reserved.

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Written by Maureen Becker — May 05, 2015

Making An Impact - Finding Your Inner Skunk


"No impact is stronger than when it is created by you, just you, as the unique being that you are." - Maureen & Guides

I was shopping at Wal-Mart this morning and as I drove into the parking lot my senses were overwhelmed with the scent of skunk. No doubt a skunk had sprayed nearby, and the whole parking lot and inside Wal-Mart had remnants of skunk smell. This got me to thinking - what an impact one little Soul can have - one little skunk, a huge building, tons of people, and everyone has noticed that smell.

Which led of course to Maureen's HumpDay Philosophical Ponder: What kind of impact am I leaving behind as I go about my day, and my life? That little skunk left quite the reminder of his power. He might be tiny, but he can sure affect a lot of area - it was impossible to avoid his impact in fact. Which got me to thinkin'...

As we go about living our life, day to day, are we really aware of the scent we are leaving behind or the impact we have on others?

Of course, I was curious to what the guides would say about this. Here was their comment:

That 'impact' of the skunk is uniquely his - no other animal can leave quite as much of a message with a scent. The skunk's unique ability to display his power and spray is what makes him unique. He doesn't have to be the biggest animal, the most majestic animal, or the fiercest. All he has to do is lift his little tail and his power will be known.

What do you, as a human, have to do to let your power (balanced power of course) be known? What impact do you believe you have on the world, and the people in it? Have you found your purpose, your passion, your uniqueness? Have you stopped trying to be the biggest, most majestic, or fiercest and instead simply accepted your uniqueness of how you impact the world?

Often, humans look to others to determine the impact they have, comparing themselves to see if they have made the grade. If the skunk did this, he would not know his own power - for he would always be smaller, less majestic, slower, not fierce enough - he would never be good enough. Yet, if he just went along his merry way and did what he did best, and lived his life how he wanted to and used his gifts (spraying) when it was necessary, then he would make his mark. (literally!)

Are you embracing your own gifts, power, and majestic birthright? Do you know what makes you uniquely 'you'? Do you embrace those parts of you, or lessen their significance in your attempt to be more like others? Do you even know what makes you unique? Time to find your inner skunk.

Each and every human being has power...there is not one being that is created that is void of it. Why? Simply because true unique power comes from the combination of your Soul as the journeyer, with your unique Ego costume, both fuelled by the power of Essence/Source. How could you not have a unique power with all the possible combinations of how the best personality traits of Ego and Soul could work together and be fuelled by Source? Of course you have something to offer, something that is uniquely your own mark/scent on the world.

So we ask you the million dollar question, and leave you to answer it:

What is your unique scent that you leave as your mark on the world?

Feel free to post responses here or go to our free forum and post there. We need to get the public forum started at some point, so why not post what you believe your unique mark is, for the world, and we can get the conversation started.

Free forum:

In uniqueness,

Maureen & Guides

copyright Source Within 2015. All rights reserved.

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Written by Maureen Becker — March 25, 2015

Perspective And 'The Dress'

"If life is simply a matter of perspective, be sure your perspective is the best it can be." - Maureen & Guides

If you choose to be a part of social media world at all, I'm sure you have been a part of the debate of the 'blue and black' or 'white and gold' dress in the last week. I too was floored when I saw the dress (I saw white and gold), and realized it was supposedly 'blue and black'. Ironically when I saw The Winnipeg Sun covering this story the next day, the picture of the dress was clearly blue and black to me. Yet on the internet, and then later on the TV show ETalk, I did again see the dress as gold and white. WTF?

That led me to question - how I could I have seen it as both? People were seeing it as one or the other. Was I overriding my mind and telling my mind it was blue and black, therefore seeing blue and black? (i.e. creating an intention) And if that is why I then later saw it as blue and black, why did I see it the next day as white and gold? So I asked SAM. They had a simple answer.


Everyone is trying to explain this phenomenon with scientific explanations and no one is quite sure just how some people see this dress one way, others the other. But what is clear even from the science world is that it all depends on how your eyes perceive the light bouncing off the dress - thus it is a perspective issue.

Ah, perspective - the Guides talk about the lens in which we see life all of the time. Do we see the glass as half full? Or empty? Do we have a lens where we see ourselves in a positive interplay with the world, or negative? The way we see the world and our relationship to it, heavily depends on our mindset, or our emotional/spiritual perspective.

What is your lens that you use to view your relationship to the world? Are you happy with how you see your life and the people/situations in it?

The now-infamous dress proves one thing - both perspectives are there, and both sides of the debate feel that they are seeing the Truth. How is that possible? Is there not only one Truth, which is that the dress is blue and black? And how do you convince a person that it is blue and black, when no matter how hard they try, all they can see is white and gold, even once they are told that it is blue and black? Is this any different than people with different religious/spiritual beliefs who are convinced that they are right, and would in fact fight to their own death to prove that the dress/their belief is in fact the color they see it as?

What if everyone - the whole world - could see the dress as blue and black? Would that make the world more peaceful and would we all feel more 'as one'?

SAM says that actually, there would be no game if we all saw 'the dress' or 'the world' in the same way. That the differences in perspective and in fact the conviction that what you see is Truth, is what makes this game interesting. Without differences in perspective, there is no motivation for you to seek the Truth. If everyone sees the Truth automatically, and there is no contrast or other perspective to consider, why play the game? What would we learn?

So it's good that this dress is making its rounds around social media. Nothing like a simple dress worn at a wedding to get everyone to reassess their own lens and question if there are other things out there in the world that we are seeing as white and gold when really it is blue and black. Keeps us on our toes, doesn't it? In fact, it helps us be aware that we might be wrong even when we are convinced we are right. Which teaches us to be tolerant of other people's perspectives, and to give consideration to the lens our fellow man/woman is using to see the world.

That is a great concept - for that makes us seek the Truth even more strongly. And isn't that why we are here - to play this game seeking Truth and to honor each other's Truth?

I know that's what I'm here for. And though everyone can have their own personal Truth, it is kind of nice to know that as a society, we all still had the urge to discover that one Truth - is the dress really white and gold or blue and black? That makes us all seekers of the ultimate Truth, doesn't it? And whether we were right or wrong doesn't even matter. The point is we cared to give it a second look and attempt to alter our lens if necessary. Perhaps our planet isn't as f*cked up as we think. We may have wars, and radical religions and all sorts of concerning issues on this planet, but at least when it comes down to it, everyone wants to know whether it is a gold or black dress. Gives me hope. If we all have such an innate interest in seeking, perhaps we'll all find the answer that gives us peace one day.

Cheers to finding the perspective that is Truth for you. ;)

p.s. oh yeah, and for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here is a link to an article that explains the debate.

Maureen & Guides

copyright Source Within 2015. All Rights Reserved.

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Written by Maureen Becker — March 05, 2015

Happy Non-Valentine's Day?? New Perspective 2018

"Love is given because you feel it, not because you owe it. F*ck Valentine's Day." - Maureen & Guides

In my efforts to find something inspiring or even good for a laugh to post on my Facebook page this Friday the 13th, the day before the effervescent holiday that is Valentine's Day, I was disappointed to realize that mostly what was out there was a bunch of dribble. How disappointing. Why couldn't I find something cute and quick to just help people enjoy their day? I watched clips of babies laughing, read some potentially staged romantic proposals and 'love stories' on youtube...but nothing scratched the itch. In fact, not even close. And that got me to thinking....I know this blog is meant to be a vehicle for the Guides and I to interact with you. It's meant for them to get their perspective out there (as in the Racism Blog). They can even use it to teach (as they attempted to do with the first blog where they talked about intuition and promised a second blog on 'how' to find your intuition.) But there's something you gotta know about my guides - they change their mind a lot. They go with the flow. They 'read' what people want and then alter accordingly.

Most of you who are reading this blog don't really care what the subject matter don't care if we write another blog on intuition or if we again intend to use daily events (or a Maclean's article) as a vehicle to open your mind to a different perspective. You're just curious to see the Guides' perspective in general, and mine as the channel. Fair enough. So we have decided to write what we want, and when we feel like it. (Cue a contented sigh and dramatic musical interlude of angels trumpeting as the skies part.)

So screw the 'Part 2 - How To Discover Intuition' blog. It's not coming. All of that stuff will be in the courses, IF of course I ever let those little babies out of my grasp enough to do some beginning testing with a 'tester group'. I keep thinking of ways I could improve the courses and thus don't publish them to be purchased. (I know, call me a perfectionist - I'm working on it. No one ever said I wasn't human just because I channel - I'm just a normal chick who channels, right?).

So today? This blog is for me. Moi. My opinion...fuelled by my guides' humour and perspective of course, but they're giving me more rope than usual. I can feel it. They've taught me enough about a more radical lens with which to look at life over the 8 1/2 years I've been with them, that they now feel I am ready to express it in my way, warts and all. So let's start with my definition of Valentine's Day...

Valentine's Day: a holiday that encourages people to feel sad and lonely if they aren't in the perfect relationships as depicted by society; a holiday that encourages others to feel special and happy if they ARE in those said relationships.

I googled where St. Valentine's Day originated and it wasn't overly exciting or valid, so to imagine that we continue this tradition every year is kinda silly.

Want sillier? Why is it, that we live in a society where 364 days a year we don't value relationship - whether it be romantic or otherwise? One day a year we're supposed to pull out all the stops (and drain our pocketbooks) to tell everyone we love how great they are. Um....who the heck as a society decided that this was suffice, this once-a-year expression of love? Why is it, that we are still falling for these poorly-created holidays? And for that matter - why is it only for one day that we should be grateful for the love in our life and celebrate it? Why is this not at least a month theme, no different than 'Black History' month which has been assigned to February in Canada? Don't get it. The way our society deals with holidays is a bit out of date. Love is important to celebrate more than once a year, isn't it?

So I have a proposal. F*ck Valentine's Day. (And if you're lucky, get a f*ck in on Valentine's Day, even if it's with yourself. Come on, you're worth it!) Instead of one day a year, I propose that we get rid of Valentine's Day altogether. Not because we shouldn't celebrate people who are important to us, but because the idea that this is such an event that it should have a holiday, rather than be a way of living, is just plain ridiculous.

So instead of going out with your loved ones or beloved on Valentine's Day, or feeling bad if you're not doing something 'special' for Valentine's Day, try this instead:

1. Do NOT contact anyone on Valentine's Day and tell them that you love them because it's 'the day to do it'. Instead, be original and contact them TODAY. Be a rebel. Show them that you think for yourself and don't follow a blind trend of 'tell the one you love' because some power-that-be has decided that Feb.14 looks like a good day for that. Or don't contact your loved ones at all around this holiday time. That would make you a rebel too.

2. Don't feel sorry for yourself. It's a bit of a set-up - if you do 'celebrate' Valentine's Day and are expecting what they offer up as 'normal' in Movieland, you know you're going to be upset when your lover doesn't treat you to a dozen roses, breakfast in bed (of course after a night of the best lovemaking you've ever experienced), and those diamond earrings you've been eyeing. Don't do it - you're falling into the Valentine's Day trap. And yes, you could use this holiday as a reminder to love, and even to love yourself more this coming year...blah blah blah.

Why aren't you loving yourself every day, just because you are deserving of that self-love every moment? Yeah I know...seems ridiculously apparent when you think about it, huh? So you're not allowed to wallow if you don't have the 'best Valentine's day' ever - whether by the unrealistic expectations you place upon your loved ones, or the expectations you place upon yourself to get in a little more self-loathing that day because you are 'alone'. (Are we ever alone? Guess that concept is potentially for another blog.)

3. Make the decision that instead of a calendar and society deciding that on Feb. 14 you should celebrate love, that you are going to celebrate love every day. And not just to be a rebel, but because it makes sense. How else do you expect to have a happy, content life, if you don't love yourself or others? So make it a priority today, to decide that you put love first. Not on Valentine's Day, but every day, and for no other reason than because it makes sense to live out your life from a full cup, rather than a cracked cup that only gets filled once a year if the 'right' person (from your perspective) buys you the 'right' token of appreciation and expresses himself/herself in the 'right' way. Too much pressure. Instead, take love into your own hands, tap into your own (and for that matter you could tap into the free love that is Source itself), and ride the wave without relying on anyone else.

Cynical perspective? Radical perspective? Foolish perspective?

I can see all of you Cupids getting p*ssed off with me because I've just wrecked your fun. You were planning all of these exciting events/gifts to honour your loved ones and now you feel like I've just rained on your parade. No I haven't. I've just suggested that you consider being that type of person who honors your loved ones 365 days a year, because you want to, not one day a year because when you flip your calendar to February, you see that on Feb. 14 you're supposed to buy chocolates and flowers and cards for those important to you.

Just sayin'.

But in the end, since this beautiful life of ours is in fact a game of experiences and learning, you can do what you want. And what am I going to do? Enjoy my loved ones every day. Oh, and I'm going to wait for February 15 and then go and buy 50% off chocolate and flower bouquets. If society is foolish enough to fall for marketing of buying marked up goods to fuel the economy, I can be savvy enough to take advantage of the aftersale, can't I?

And so can you. So think for yourself, rather than follow the flock, and love people because you wanna, not because you have to.

Over and out,

Maureen & Guides

Oh, and p.s. - give your religious/spiritual dogma lens a really good overhaul if you think this blog can't be fuelled by spiritual guides - after all, since when do Guides approve of sarcasm, swearing, and satire? Ummm...all the time. Cause you know what? Source has a fabulous sense of humor.

Pass it on!! Did this inspire you, make you chuckle, or challenge you thinking? Want to influence someone else's day? Forward this to a friend so that they too can follow this blog. It's as simple as joining our free membership to join the Source Within community (interaction with the Guides, forum, free monthly podcast, and Maureen & Guides' blog!). Click here for your free membership!

copyright Source Within 2015. All Rights Reserved.


Addendum written on Feb 14, 2018

My my, how 3 years will change one's perspective, as will a good dose of love.  Though I still stand by the fact that people who are single should not allow Valentine's Day to be a mirror to them that makes them feel bad about themselves because they don't have a person sending them flowers or chocolates, my perspective has softened.  And why? Well, I guess because I have softened.  I have finally met a partner who is living out what I was saying, showing me 365 days a year that he loves me, by his actions and his words.  This will be our second Valentine's Day together and I am reassured of his love, not because it's Valentine's Day and I may get an acknowledgement of it in some way, but because he shows me daily that he appreciates who I am.  So my above blog, though fired with a bit of anger/cynicism, and clearly written when I was single, still stands.  In no way should we be so manipulated by societal expectations such as Hallmark-type holidays like Valentine's Day, that it becomes a negative day if you aren't in a relationship.  Then make it about self-love and remind yourself that some day, you can be in that place again where this day won't feel like rubbing salt in a wound but instead will be a day of expression of love with your current partner. And in the meantime have it represent loving yourself and others in a platonic way. I was single for 8 years after my divorce which I think is a long time, and spent way too many Valentine's Days feeling 'left out' of this holiday until I made it about treating myself that day, going out with a friend (assuming they were single too) or doing some other special activity 'just for me' so that I wasn't left out of this Valentine's Day Club.

And now, being in a relationship, I realize that I/we can ride the wave of the potential romanticism of this day, if we want to partake. Hopefully without the expectation that by doing so today, the other 364 days are less important to express my respect and appreciation for my partner, or his for me. This is just like any other day, and perhaps could be viewed as a tool to create some loving excitement between you two that seems slightly different because everyone else is riding the same wave at the same time.  Heighten your love making, go out and celebrate with other people celebrating either the love of their couplehood or their own self-love, all the while knowing nothing will change in your behavior towards yourself or your loved one tomorrow.  Love and the expression of love, should be a 365 day a year job, nothing less.  ;)  Happy Valentine's Day everyone...and if you're in the mode of 'fuck Valentine's Day'... I get ya...then you're sick of the pressure of this day.  That's okay, then make it a self-love holiday because you deserve it!

copyright Source Within 2018.  All rights reserved.

Written by Maureen Becker — February 13, 2015

Racism, Winnipeg, And A Different Perspective

"Canada Has A Bigger Race Problem Than America. And It's Ugliest In Winnipeg"

- Maclean's Magazine

It's pretty hard to miss the uproar in Winnipeg as a result of this Maclean's magazine article.

In my efforts to avoid reading the negativity that newspapers offer daily as a glimpse of our reality, I usually skim the paper or internet sites just to keep myself in the know, reminding myself that no journalism is definitely the full truth. However, it was hard to miss the scathing article that was published in Maclean's magazine. The heart of the continent and Friendly Manitobans have become the most racist????

Okay, so Winnipegers are mad. They feel targeted. They feel that one person's opinion about how we are as a city should not be used as a 'fact', nor should Maclean's magazine publish the article along with the cover quoted above as if this is Truth as a result of the writer's minimal research. Fair enough. I can understand how Winnipeggers feel unfairly criticized and thrown to the wolves both by Nancy Macdonald and Maclean's Magazine. However, there is a but. ( And yes, I'm about to start a sentence with it.)

BUT...what if we were to look at this from a completely different perspective? A more...Source-based perspective, if you will?

What has happened here is a gift. We know Winnipeg has racism. We know there is racism against our aboriginal/indigenous population. Surely it could be proven that there is also racism against other cultural groups/races. And in fact, we could also prove that there is 'reverse racism', where 'whites' are prejudiced against as well, due to the beliefs that other cultures/races hold. However, every city throughout the world has racism. Is this fact really a newsflash??

Anyone who claims they are not racist to any group or creed is lying; if to no one other than themselves. As human beings, we are taught to see ourselves as separate from others, 'different' than others. We are not taught to focus on what makes us the same. We are born into a planetary consciousness that is racist. (If you want to know our opinion on that we can write that in another blog.) Let's add religious discrimination into the mix. Do we have any place in the world that claims to be all-loving and all-accepting of any creed, race, or religion?

So let's sit with this for a moment then. If everyone on the planet is racist or discriminating to something or someone, whether it be a certain culture, race, religion, or even a person's sexual preference, why are Winnipeggers getting all up in arms about this article?

The truth is because it is a degree. We do have a racism issue with the indigenous population. However, we can see racism anywhere we focus our gaze; racism against African Americans in the Southern states of the U.S. as another current example. But what is the bigger picture here?

If we all are racist, instead of pointing the finger at which group of people/city/race is the most racist, why don't we instead use this article as a stimulus to go within and determine what our own prejudices are? Pointing fingers at others in efforts to prove yourself as the 'right' party is as discriminatory as Nancy Macdonald claiming that she has proof that Winnipeg is the most racist city. The bottom line is we all have prejudices, every last one of us. So instead, let's take the gift.

Go within. Think about how you treat others. Ask yourself if some of the beliefs you hold could be considered prejudice or racism. Don't judge yourself for this, for then the feelings of guilt will actually stop you from being willing to look under your own racism rug and actually see what is there. Instead, take accountability for what your prejudices are and make a pact with yourself to change them. Not because someone else may call you or your city the most racist, but because as a human being on this planet, you don't like the idea that our planet focuses on differentiating ourselves from others rather than trying to accept each other, as is.

And no, don't for a minute think that myself or the Guides are suggesting we all sit together as many nations and sing Kumbaya. Far from it. That isn't even possible at this point. And why isn't it possible? Because all of us think we are right; every last one of us are convinced that 'our view' is correct. And guess what? So does Nancy Macdonald. From her experiences, from her lens, Winnipeg is the most racist city. That is her Truth. Now that doesn't mean that is everyone else's Truth, but due to the beauty of free will and free speech, she has every right to air her views. And Maclean's has the right to change her opinion into 'fact' and claim it is Truth as well. Isn't it up to us, to read every article with discernment (including this blog) and decide what we believe to be truth? So if we read the Maclean's article and decide that Maclean's used that cover because it would sell magazines, which means they were after the almighty buck rather than true journalism, should that activate us so? Don't all magazines do this, including newspapers and news shows? Is this not the reality we live in, where the 'good' goes unnoticed and instead the headlines are filled with the latest mistakes of society? So why should we be so surprised then, that Maclean's took a low blow at Winnipegers? Is this not the current accepted practice of the media?

Whether you believe Nancy Macdonald or Maclean's are correct in their assumptions or not, this is looking at this issue through the Ego lens. The true Source or Essence lens of the matter is to see that this article put an uncomfortable subject, racism, into the light. And now everyone one of us can use that light to look under our own racism rugs to determine just where we stand on the spectrum of being racist. It isn't a competition, for all of us are equally guilty. Every one of us, as humans, have had negative thoughts and beliefs about other religions, creeds, and races. So stop feeling like a victim of this article, Winnipeggers. Instead, PROVE MACLEANS WRONG. PROVE NANCY MACDONALD WRONG. Embrace the fact that she has shed light on a problem (whether it has been blown out of proportion or not) and look within to see what each and every one of us can do on a daily basis to be less racist and a little more loving.

Nope, not Kumbaya, but perhaps we can hold a little more acceptance of each other's beliefs, perspectives, and cultures. Just then, we may have the opportunity to experience the true gift of this article and reaction from the people: SELF-AWARENESS.

Namaste (the Essence within me honours the Essence within you),

Maureen & Guides

Pass it on!! Did this inspire you or challenge you thinking? Want to inspire someone else's day? Forward this to a friend so that they too can follow this blog. It's as simple as joining our free membership to join the Source Within community (interaction with the Guides, forum, free monthly podcast, and Maureen & Guides' blog!). Click here for your free membership!

copyright Source Within 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Written by Maureen Becker — January 28, 2015


We promise to only send you good things.

This game of life is meant to be played with joy, love, contentment - not suffering and contrast.


Yes the law of attraction does work. Is your Soul willing to be that powerful?


Souls need to reconnect with their gifts and strengths, and own who they really are.


Time to shine dear ones! What is your deservability in shining?


Connecting the Soul with its Ego costume through Essence, allows your gifts to burst forth.


This integration of all that you are, allows you to play this game intuitively rather than defensively.


There is so much that you could create from this Integrated Being state! What's stopping you?


We can help you discover this Integration, discover you. And burst forth into this world as the firecracker you really are.


Fear, sadness,anger, doubt, all of that can be overridden. The fact you are a piece of 'god'? That is simple Truth.


Honoring your soul's purpose from a content, Integrated state. Now that is enjoyment of the game.